Future

No one knows what the future holds. In the past 7 months God has definitely showed that to me. I thought I had it all figured out but I don't. I wasn't living 110% in the word like I should have been, however in the last 2 months I have decided that needed to change. Today I was reading in Proverbs. "Guidance For The Young" 

Proverbs 3:5-6 
'Trust in the LORD with all of your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.'

Within the past couple months I have struggled with multiple areas in my life and I have been trying to get back on path on my own. Reading these verses today reminded me as long as I trust God in any and every aspect of my life He will guide my foot steps on to the path He as set for me. 

Proverbs 3:23-26
'Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
For the LORD will be your confidence, 
And will keep your foot from being caught.'

From today forward 110% of what I do will be for the Lord. I do not understand His plan for my life. I do not understand why He lead me to Charleston Southern University and why I got so excited to attend the school when I knew nothing about it. But I am filled with over excitement to attend this school. But I will trust in Him in all my ways and I will acknowledge Him in everything, for I know I will not stray away from His plan in doing this. He is my rock and my shelter. I will trust Him in my life and I give Him everything. I give Him my life, my school, my friends, my family, my money, my relationship. He will be the center of everything I do 110% from now on. I can not wait to see where He takes me in life and I am ready for anything. I know I have Him on my side. I surrender all to Him, 110%

We Are The Body

I spoke Sunday night at my church. When you get a chance listen to it. It may just change your life.

 http://www.amazingly-graced.com/sermons/Kim%20Aspenson%20-%20If%20We%20Are%20The%20Body%20(06-02-2013).mp3

Pain.Confusion.Hurt

Trusted. Believed. Dreamed. Hoped. All the things you no longer know if you have or not. Pain. Confusion. No Understanding. Hurt. Those. Those you know are present. Why? Because that is all you can feel. As if a black hole as sucked in your heart. It came out of no where, one split second and everything was gone. Theres a hole in a chest that use to be full. It started with one kiss that changed everything and made you fall. It ended with one message that came out of the blue. You thought you would be able to see it coming if it was to come. You never thought it would, at least not this soon. Time is suppose to heal the wounded but right now time is the enemy. Time. Time is making things harder because it is making thoughts run laps around your brain. When will I become good enough? When will I become more then a disappointment? When will the pain heal? How much longer? Why me? Why is it always me that gets hurt? You want to become numb again but your unsure how. How much longer with the enemy? Everyone says they are their for you but no one truly understands. They never will because they don't feel they pain you feel. "Stay strong" is all you here and all you try to be but you are so ready to give up and cave in.

Helping Hand

So recently I have been working at our Brandon location. Since working there I have came in communication with a Deaf guy, Jody. The first time he walked in he I didn't know he was Deaf until he started making loud noises to get my attention. When I started to sign to him his face lit up and we began to have a conversation. He has recently told me he has no money or food so Every day he has been in and I have bought him some yogurt. Every time he tells me "God Bless You" or "God Loves You" or "I love you" and "Thank You" I knew I wasn't going to be in today so I left an envelope with money in it for my coworker to allow him to get yogurt. She texted me told me he was so excited to see that envelope from me with some money to get him yogurt with. This fills my heart with joy to know I can help someone! My coworker and I are planning on going to get him so food for him to have. 

Sealed

"Sealed"

One step forward three steps back 

Wondering what will become of this anxiety attack

Bestowed a trust like none other 

Only to be proven one is like another 

Up went a wall 

With hopes not to fall

Wore the heart on a sleeve 

For you to just leave

Gave up without a fight 

Staying strong with all my might

Knowing in time everything will be fine

Just waiting for a sign 

A slow pace will heal the broken 

From all this comes a token 

With hopes one day it will be revealed 

Until then a heart stays sealed. 

- Kimberly E. Aspedon 

Mirror

"Mirror" 

Peering into the mirror 
What is that reflection?
Brighten the window so the picture is clearer 
Staring at an image with questions 

The soul seen through the eyes 
Confusion racing the mind 
Its never easy when it comes to goodbyes
Just need time to unwind 

Picking up the fragments  
Praying glue can hold them together 
Knowing they will forever have an indent 
Hoping soon I will become stronger. 

-Kimberly Elizabeth Aspedon 

Pain

Pain is that felt in the heart
Pain is that taste of tart
Pain is for the weak
Pain is for a freak

Is it hard for one to take a hint? Trying to be as nice as possible. Wondering what more I'll have to take before this pain will end. Trying to find a way to escape. Trying to severe ties and leave them un-bandaged. Held on for something for so long when there was nothing to hold on. Alone and cold in the lonely world, I look around and wonder: "will things ever get better?" On my knees praying that God will heal the wounded and allow happiness to overfill the sadden.

Comfort is for the rested
Comfort is for the nested
Comfort is that sense of peace
Comfort is that pain cease

Must be hard to take that hint repeatedly offered. Done with trying. No longer wondering if it will end, cause knowing you there is no end. Moving forward and going to forget. Revenge is best served cold. I will no longer allow your grip to hold me down. You will not watch any suffering come from this direction. God heals the wounded, all that is needed is a little bit of patience. I will wait for the healing, just away from you.

-Kimberly Elizabeth Aspedon 

Words

Words are poison on the tongue
Spoken by the young
Many lingering on the lips
How many will slip

Rounds of infinite untold expressions
Leaving behind unanswered questions
Waiting to see what will be revealed
Pondering if you will need a shield

Still in the mind 
Where they stay confined
Should they be told
Even if they are cold

Sticks and stones may break bones
And words can be bemoans
Heartbreak and unnecessary pain
Trying to stay sane


- Kimberly Elizabeth Aspedon 

I Wish

I wish the world wasn't so evil, I wish pain wasn't a feeling, I wish fairy tales were true, I wish there was love at first sight, I wish a person could really stand in another's pair is shoes, I wish death never accrued, I wish sickness was healed, I wish enemies became friends, I wish there was unity, I wish there was peace in a storm, I wish there was no fear, I wish the only tears that fell were those of happiness, I wish there was no judgement, I wish there was no karma, I wish dreams came true, I wish you could wish apon an airplane, I wish promises were kept, I wish goals were always reached, I wish there was no negativity, I wish there was no abuse, I wish there was no one starving, I wish there was no such thing as scars, I wish that one day, maybe one day all these wishes will come true. 

-Kimberly Elizabeth Aspedon

Its Not Easy Its Just Life

“Its Not Easy Its Just Life”

Life is that of a Game
Game of poker, with deceiving lies
Game of chess, with unseen moves
Game of slap jacks, with slaps in the face 
Game of baseball, with more strikes then balls
Game of football, with personal fowls 
Game of dodgeball, with hits to the gut
Game of red rover, with a fall to the ground

Life is that of a Trail 
Trail of right and wrong, with decisions
Trail of conscious, with unstoppable voices
Trial of angel or devil, with a riding the fence 
Trial of family or friends, with people getting hurt
Trail of identity, with confusion in the midst
Trial of school, with wanting to give up
Trail of perseverance, with no will to stay strong

Life is that of a Temptation
Temptation of worldly choices, with mistakes made
Temptation of opportunity, with questions as “should I?” or “should I not?”
Temptation of pureness, with a desire to fit in
Temptation of disobedience, with trouble attached
Temptation of love, with heartbreak shortly after
Temptation of dreaming, with false hopes
Temptation of the fruit, with a “eat?” or “don’t eat”

Life was not taught to be easy
In fact life itself taught the most important lesson of all....
.....Its Not Easy Its Just Life..

-Kimberly Elizabeth Aspedon 

Wake Up

Were you once living in a dream? A really good dream? Or was it a perfect nightmare? Everything seemed to fall right into place. Perhaps under a spell you were. For nothing in this world can be without flaw. Deceiving lies thrown left and right. Might as well have slapped you in the face, for that is all a lie is. Leaving nothing but scar tissue on your life. That, for one will never fade away. With no intention, you give all you have and all you are to the devil himself. The devil hiding in the ones you THOUGHT you loved. Only to be proven that the one you THOUGHT you loved faded into the crevasse of this world. Becoming the one thing you swore would stay away. Wake up before its to late and become the one you swore you never would. Wake up.