Lost, Confused, A little Damaged

The title of this blog is also part of a song by KJ-52 called Broken People and those words; Lost and Confused is exactly how I feel right now maybe even a little "damage".. Well the good thing is my school credit thing got fixed and Im back on track (ahead) like Im suppose to be. And that makes me feel better, in a sense.. But now I don't know anymore.. I don't know what to do, think, say or act because every time I do something say something or even think something I screw something else up. Im tired of being a screw up. Life is coming upon me so fast, I mean this year Im going to be a junior.. Then senior year and then out in to the real world... I have a lot of choices to make and I just wish there was someone there to help me making them. I wish I could see in to the future and see the ways things might be so I know what the right choice is. Is there a right choice.? All of a sudden everything became a blur, I had it all almost figured out but now it all seems like a blur. Do I take this path or this one.? I feel like Im on a broken road and it feels like I have no one to help me chose which way I should I go. What if I chose one way and then later regret it.? I don't wanna look back and say to myself "I should have chosen the other path" Do I go to college and put other plans on hold and be gone for 4 years.? Or do I go ahead do the one thing I know for SURE I want and stay.? Or what.? Why does it seem that everything is so hard.? I know what I want so why am I making it difficult.? The plans you shared with me sound more then amazing but why am I making it so difficult.? Why do I all of a sudden feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.? So many questions but theres no answers. I wish I had a North Star pointing me in the right direction or a sign from God showing me that this choice will be better. But I know God has His own timing in showing us what He sees for us. So I guess all I can do is pray. Wish I really knew what to do. Im tired of everyone else telling me what to do, I wanna do what I want to not what they see for me. Im sick of feeling like a failure because everyone has their own expectations for me and I don't want to desiappoint anyone but I can't please everyone, dont they know that.? I dont think anyone understands what they put me through, being the first child and the first one to go to college(one expectation), I just dont know anymore and I wish I did... I dont wanna disappoint anyone but I wanna do me.... Imma shoot off here for now, dont forget about the new "All you page". Hope everyone has an amazing day!