Doesnt Understand....

Thought I was done for the night but I guess not. I just dont understand. But then again maybe I do. Maybe thats why I put up these walls, so I wouldnt get hurt again. Then when I start to take them down some the are torn down and you get hurt by something so simple. How is it that we love the ones that hurt us, hurt the ones that love us, BUT yet we NEVER learn from our mistakes that we make OVER and OVER AGAIN?? We will always do it again, no matter how bad we got hurt the first time. I dont know what to do - I know what I want or atleast I think I do. But I dont know how to get there or what to do to get it anymore. Am I afraid to love again? Afraid of getting hurt again? Afraid of change? Afraid of the future? I just dont know anymore... Wish I did. I use to have it all figured out but now I just dont know anymore. Ive been told over and over again dont worry about it you have plenty of time but my sophomore year is almost over and then junior year will go by faster then this year and then before you know it Ive graduated college and Im starting a family and then its to late to figure it all out. Life isnt always beautiful but its a beautiful ride.... *sigh* a wonderful night gone bad... Glad I dont have school tomorrow but its going to be a long boring day. And even more its going to be a long night. and not feeling good on top of all that blah, just wonderful. Times like right now makes me really want to go back to being a little girl again where the only time she was stressed was when she couldnt find her favorite teddy bear and when daddy didnt give her a hug. When I was 10 I couldnt wait to grow up but now that Im a teenager and life is moving all to fast my only wish was to going back to being that cute little girl that had nothing to worry about at all. I just cant be strong anymore, I dont know how to. I know all the little this are suppose to make you stronger but I just cant do it anymore. Im tired of being strong and acting like everything is okay.... *sigh* Well its 11:37 and I dont know what else to say, all I want to do right now is hug my teddy bear and cry myself to sleep if I get to sleep. Hope everyone has a better night then I did. Goodnight

Fall - Clay Walker

Oh, look, there you go again
Puttin' on that smile again
Even though I know you've had a bad day
Doin' this and doin' that
Always puttin' yourself last
A whole lotta give and not enough take
But you can only be strong so long before you break

So fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you
Everytime you fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear,
Every worry, every tear,
I'm right here
Baby, fall

Forget about the world tonight
All that's wrong and all that's right
Lay your head on my shoulder, and let it fade away
And if you wanna let go, baby, its okay

Fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you
Everytime you fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear,
Every worry, every tear,
I'm right here
Baby fall

Hold on, hold on,
Hold on to me

Fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you
Everytime you fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt, every fear,
Every worry, every tear,
I'm right here
Baby fall

*A song that means alot to me and says exactly what I feel and what not. Wish I could just Fall right now*

Anyways Peace