Sometime in Life.

Sometimes in life you gonna be thrown many different things. Curve balls, Fast balls, and then some are ones you cant dodge so you get hit in the gut with them. Thats where I am right now, I feel like if been hit in the gut with a fast ball. And it hurts ='/ Ryans grandfather passed away yesterday. When I got the text I litterally was about to drop my phine because I was shaking so bad. I was up til 11 talking on and off to Ryan before he tried to go to sleep. I on the other hand could barely sleep going in and out all night because I wanted to be up if he texted me or if he called needing someone, and I havent been able to eat yet, just dont have an appetite for food. He says he's fine but I know better, I know hes trying to be strong for his parents but I know him and I know he's hurting on the inside. Because I know I am, I only met grandpa clinton like 4 times. But I cant explain it, I feel like I lost someone I was close to. Ryan and I have been together for over a year and his family feels like family to me like I hope mine does to him. So I dont know if I feel hurt because I lost a family member or if I hurt because Ryan hurts, or I hurt because I cant help, or maybe all three ='/ I dont know. But I know Ive been crying on and off for the past almost 12 hours. Sat in the shower for an hour and a half crying and then called my grandma and cried more. I dont want to find out how I will be when one of my grandparents die. Or anyone in my family. But I know Ryan will be there for me like I am here for him right now. Im trying so hard to be strong for him but its hard :( I keep praying for strength. Please pray for us in this time of need. I may not blog for a couple days but bare with me plase. RIP Grandpa Clinton